At approximately 0630 military time, Mt. Hamner roared to life in a spectacular display of pyroclastic and fiery lava skyworks, after a powerful boom ripped across the rural landscape causing wildlife and humans alike to seek shelter. The US Geological Survey issued a rapid statement to local residents saying the eruption was unexpected since only small rumblings had been detected for several weeks but usually had subsided within minutes of detection. Local residents, however, stated the USGS failed to consider the impact of factors the USGS considered “unrelated”. At this time, residents are hunkering down until Mt. Hamner settles back into the normal routine. In the meantime, follow the explosive release of Skyworks here.

I have had it up to my eyeballs with the “climate change” idiots! From the brain-dead occupant of the Oval Office to “Kill” Gates to every swinging willie in the State legislatures, these bought-and-paid-for parasites are like a boil on the b*** of humanity – that goes for women who partake in the cultic religion too. It’s bad enough that there is one State in the union known as the “land of fruits, nuts, and flakes”.  Now, Washington State (speaking of the government) is clamoring for designation as the “land of kooks, crazies, and loons”.

Rep. Amy Wallen and Liz Berry have put forth HB 1868, which prohibits, bans, and criminalizes the use of gasoline-powered lawn and garden equipment – lawnmowers, trimmers, hedge trimmers, chainsaws, leaf blowers, augers, wood chippers, pressure washers, snow blowers, and the like with some exceptions. The “exceptions” cover federal, state, and local government use, naturally, and if there is no alternative power equipment option on the market that is electrical. The penalty for violation is 364 days in jail and/or a $10,000 fine. If passed and signed by the goobernor, the law will take effect January 1, 2026.

According to these two kooks, crazies, and loons, the people are ready for this transition. Not surprisingly, they cite Beijing Biden’s Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) for this move. Beijing Biden’s EPA determined lawn machines are to blame for 5% of the nation’s air pollution and 17 million gallons of gasoline wasted through spillage. Pfffft. Fifteen percent, at least, of the nation’s air pollution comes from these methane gas bags opening their mouths and backsides. Another 20% comes from their excessive lifestyle. Shut them up and put them on the same level as everyone else and you would cut emissions considerably. If you want scientific studies to back MY percentages up, dream on – it is what I say it is, just like the government declares and the climate nutjobs believe it.

I haven’t seen anyone from anywhere in my yard “measuring” my lawnmower exhaust or watching me fill up the mower’s gas tank to see if I spill any. Who came up with those numbers? Then, there is the “brilliant” people at the Department of Transportation claiming their data shows running a gas lawnmower for one hour equates to driving a passenger car 300 miles, in terms of smog-forming pollution, and an hour of leaf blower operation equates to driving that same car 1,100 miles. Oh, and let’s not forget the “noise nuisance” of using these pieces of equipment. Not once, EVER, has anyone in our neighborhood complained about the noise from outdoor equipment. And, these “stellarly intelligent” gas bags putting forth all of this don’t complain either when their hired-hand lawn and garden caretakers use that equipment to “pristinely manicure” their property. In fact, they probably aren’t even there when the “gardener” does the job.

I’d bet you ten dollars to a doughnut and give you 10 minutes to draw a crowd, not one of these crazy, looney kooks would even know what an auger looks like much less how to operate one.

My gas-powered Husqvarna garden tractor lawnmower only holds two- and one-half gallons of gasoline. It takes me about three hours and one gallon of gas to mow my lawn – an hour-and-one-half if I go faster, which I don’t like to do in order to give the blades ample opportunity to work on the grass. Driving my car 300 miles takes 10 to 15 gallons of gas and about 5 hours, depending on traffic, speed, air conditioner use, etc. As an example, it takes roughly one tank of gas (22 gallons) and 10 hours to drive the 525 miles to Beavercreek, Ohio in the car. The mower only has 686 hours of use on it and it’s ten years old. Of course, I use it for more than mowing. But, I digress. Point is – I refuse to use anything electric/battery-powered to mow grass or do other jobs with my garden tractor.

Somewhere, some non-grata intelligencia person in government, who never operates lawn and garden equipment and probably rarely drives a vehicle, has determined gas/diesel-powered lawn equipment pollutes more than a car.

Let me tell you – as a woman, I have used both electric-powered, battery-powered, and gas-powered “lawn and garden equipment”. For small jobs, and I mean small, a battery-powered device is decent – depending on the job. For cutting small limbs (3 inches or less), my handheld battery powered six-inch chainsaw works fine. But, when using the electric powered chain saw (4 inches to 8 inches), the cord length is limiting, as well as its power. Plus, it takes a good bit of oil to lube the thing as it runs. My gas-powered, easy-pull Stihl chain saw is a workhorse. It cuts through everything like a hot knife through butter.

There is absolutely no way my little electric tiller works as well as my gas-powered Troy-Bilt. From the house to the garden area, that electric tiller takes over 200 feet of electrical cord. Talk about a nuisance! But, my mom can use it around the house for her flower beds. No way am I going to break ground, till, or overturn my garden area with an electric tiller. Pffft. I might as well use a spoon. Don’t get me wrong. That electric tiller does till and break ground; however, it takes two or three passes to get the ground as good as one pass with my gas-powered Troy-bilt – no electrical cord to worry about slicing up either.

I have two battery-powered weed-eaters. Again, that equipment is easier for my mom to operate with her physical issues. Each weed-eater lasts about an hour before needing a full charge. One, which has a 40v battery, won’t even cut the type of grass at the Beavercreek, Ohio house. Useless! What’s the point of having something that won’t cut the weeds because of a lack of power? Now, my gas-powered, easy-pull Stihl weed-eater is a beast when it comes to those tough blades of grass. Power, power, power! And, I can get longer than an hour’s use out of it. By the way, I plant no type of shrubs or hedges that I have to trim. I got rid of what we had ten years ago. And, those “bushes” at the Beavercreek house are getting gone in the spring!

You get the idea. I would rather pick up dog poop with my bare hands than use electric/battery-powered lawn and garden equipment. Imagine mowing your property of any size with a “human-powered mower”. Does anyone remember those? You are the engine and those things are a “witch” to use. I ain’t doing it nor am I using a battery/electric powered lawn mower.

Then, the intelligence non-capita of Wallen and Berry claim gas-powered lawn and garden equipment, used outside mind you, causes asthma, hearing loss, and “other health issues”. Hello, non-capita intelligence people, you can wear earplugs – one problem solved there. Where are the “scientific studies” proving use of these gas and diesel-powered lawn/garden equipment causes asthma? I’ve been using them my entire life and I do not have asthma. And, what other “health issues” that not surprisingly remain “anonymous” are we talking about?

Well, to all these gooberment “busybodies”, you go first big boys! Put your big boy and big girl pants on and get busy manicuring your own lawn without gas-powered equipment. In fact, you can start by using your teeth to cut the grass and trim your hedges. It would be a much better use of the methane you produce than the continual “gas bagging” you do while talking and wasting the trees putting these garbage bills on paper. While you’re at it, ditch your Armani suits and Dior dresses for a pair of overalls, work boots, and leather gloves in order to do some “real work” for a change. You all might want to practice now for the “punishment” you non-grata intelligencia will get when the people have had enough of your idiocy. Hands off the gas-powered outdoor equipment!!

The USGS has informed residents that Mt. Hamner is ceasing its activity. Residents can now cease the shelter-in-place advisory. Residents are encouraged to power up every gas/diesel-powered lawn and garden equipment they have to help improve the conditions around the neighborhood.